Keanu's "Fast"?

Lisa and I watched the Oscars tonight with our friend and neighbor Lydia.

So was it me, or did Sandra look like she drove to the Oscars in Keanu's car with the windows down?

And what's the deal this year with all the gowns this year that look as though they are designed to widen, flatten, and separate the breasts so far apart that there's no cleavage and the breasts end up in the armpits?

And -- I love Naomi Watts, really I do, but: what was the deal with the Bride of the Mummy dress? Literally, I swear, we bought a mummy Hallowe'en decoration from Target this year made from the exact same fabric!

Lydia and Lisa also kept noticing all those blondes who went out of their way to wash out their complexions entirely with off-white tones.

Anyway. On the whole I really enjoyed the Oscars this year. And I stopped watching them years ago. The academy's serial offenses with such obscenities as Titanic and inanities as Braveheart just made me lose interest long time since. Not to mention the inane chatter, mean-spirited and relentlessly prurient jokes, yadda yadda.

I thought Jon Stewart was quite a success: the Bjork joke; the academy lobbying commercials; the cute little bit with the pup-tent and Billy Crystal, etc.

And I was actually pretty happy with the winners. I always thought it was silly that a single movie would sweep the Oscars: they have the ability to give Best Picture and Best Director to different films and rarely do. I'm glad they did this time, though I haven't seen Crash yet. And this was a very difficult year to choose.

I was particularly glad they gave best actor to Philip Seymour Hoffman, who I've loved for years. I kept forgetting it was him and not the real Capote. I'm glad Narnia got a nod for Mr. Tumnus' makeup. I'm glad King Kong won at least some awards -- though honestly it should have had a nomination for Costume and I think it deserved the Art direction too. Of course I'm glad Ang Lee won for Brokeback (though poor Heath: he says Lee never said a single encouraging word of praise during shooting, and he still only thanked the characters and not the actors who brought them to life), and I'm particularly glad the screenwriters won for Brokeback and I loved their speeches. Of course even though the Curse of the Were Rabbit is probably my least favorite Wallace and Gromit film I still had to love the fact that Nick Parks and Steve Box won and I loved the bow-ties. And of course the penguins were great too.

Like I said it was a hard year to choose. I'm glad Philip and George won but Heath and Jake were unbelieeeeevably good. I've always wanted David Strathairn to win an Oscar, too.

Oh, well. And I was shocked to see that Sean Chris Penn had died! I hadn't heard that. He was only 40! And I had somehow missed hearing about Barbara Bell Geddes and Sandra Dee. And poor Lauren Bacall! She still looked great, she still has all the Class, but I wonder why she was having so much trouble reading the script.

Anyway, bed-time for this movie buff ...

(Update March 6: yes I knew it was Chris, not Sean; I was tired!)